With it being Mother’s Day in the U.S. we naturally think of our mothers or women in our lives who we are grateful for. I would like to dedicate this writing to the women in my life who have shared love, wisdom and support over the years – my mom, aunts, grandmothers, cousins and wise women who have touched my life in so many ways. Thank you!
The Latin word gratis which means it is freely given to you. I like the definition of gratitude given by BBenedictine monk, Brother David Steindl-Rast who shares two qualities of gratitude: appreciation, recognizing something is valuable to you regardless of monetary value, and that which is freely given. In a 1968 publication of Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Tesser and Driver shared a similar criteria: perceived genuine effort from the giver, and the value or fulfillment for the recipient.
How are gratitude and mindfulness related? Mindfulness is paying attention to the present moment without judgment. The practice of gratitude helps us to be more mindful. How so? When we practice gratitude, we practice focusing our mind (mindfulness) on what it is that we are thankful for (gratitude practice). Take for instance you are walking and it starts to rain. You don’t have a hood or umbrella. One thought pattern is to get upset about being wet. A different thought pattern is the practice of gratitude. Focus on what about the rain brings you joy or what is it about the rain that makes you feel grateful. It could be how the rain makes trees and plants appear more vibrant, or how nourishing it is for the dirt and plants. You are paying attention to the rain (mindfulness) and giving thanks (gratitude). Without mindfulness, one could miss out on the many more things in life there are to be grateful for.
Research + Benefits of Gratitude
The practice of gratitude is beneficial for our mental wellbeing, but also our physical health. Neuroscientist Glenn Fox and a team of researchers conducted the first study of how gratitude manifests in the brain and found a connection of brain activity of gratitude to social connections, reward and stress relief. They found that practicing gratitude leads to more optimism, feeling better about one’s life, increased exercise and fewer doctor visits. Overall, individuals who practice more gratitude illustrated enhanced psychological well-being. Gratitude was also shown to increase resilience to trauma.
Gratitude Practice
The practice of gratitude is cultivating an acceptance and appreciation for what is given to you. This cultivation could then be applied to both the highs and lows in life. It is easier to begin with the highs. Mindfulness meditation teacher and writer Jack Kornfield shared:
“In Tibet, the monks and nuns even offer prayers of gratitude for the suffering they have been given: “Grant that I might have enough suffering to awaken in me the deepest possible compassion and wisdom.”
You and I might not be ready to pray for suffering to awaken our compassion and wisdom, but it lends to giving us pause for reflection. In this dark moment, what is it that I can be grateful for? Is it to be alive? Is there something I learned from this situation? Is there wisdom or compassion I can learn to practice for myself at this moment?
To get your gratitude practice started, start with the high moments in your day. In creating a consistent practice of gratitude focusing on the high moments in life, it might feel easier to practice gratitude in the low moments. Here are a few ways to get started creating a gratitude practice:
- Journal. Before bedtime, write down 3 things you are grateful for. (in a journal or on a piece of paper)
- Sharing Aloud. At dinner, share gratitudes with family members or if alone, say it aloud.
- Gratitude Jar. Keep small pieces of paper near the jar (your “gratitude jar”). Write down a gratitude each day. After one month, read them aloud.
- Send Gratitude. Spend time sharing thanks in notes or cards to friends and family.
- Pray. Utilize prayer as an avenue for gratitude.
- Meditate. Set aside time to sit quietly, bringing to mind a person or thing you are grateful for. Form an image or one word to describe it. Continue the focus on the image or word for five or more minutes.
Try out one of these activities for a week, and see how you feel. You might be surprised.